Friday, November 23, 2007

Torn Between Two Lovers...

Hi everyone! It's me, Tiger Lily! Yesterday was the best day ever. The mamas said it was Thanksgiving. I don't know what that means, but I do know that there were two plates full of yummy-looking food right in front of me! I didn't know which one to go for first!

This one?

Or this one?

I must think. Hmm.
Think, think, think.

Well, might as well start here.
But what to eat first?

I want... this part!

And then, do you know what happened? The mamas yelled at me! I had to jump off the couch in a big hurry. But the joke was on them, because my paw was covered in mashed potatoes. I got to lick it all off. And then have my own turkey dinner on my own plate (the mamas said so).

Monday, November 12, 2007

Lap Of Luxury

Hi! I got a new blankie this week! I love it! It's allll mine! It's so soft, and so fluffy, and it's all mine. Mine! If you try to sit on it, I might bite you!

Wait. Mom says it's HER blankie. Why? Why?? WHY???!!??

Katie says that all the blankies on the bed are hers. She says the whole BED is hers. She is very mean sometimes.

She just likes to say that to make me mad.
And then she hits me. Or sometimes she just pretends to hit me.

I don't care. I sneak up on the bed when she's asleep.
Especially if MY blankie is up there.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Extra! Extra! Sneak Attack!

Hi there, it's me again! I just saw something really scary so I wanted to tell you all about it.

I went in the bedroom to go ask when breakfast was ready. Those mamas are always just sitting in bed. With those big paper things. I don't know why. Don't they know that I'm hungry? So I went to remind them.

I went in, and Cleo was there! She was sitting on the paper! It almost looked like she was hiding. But there she was. On the paper.

I was just about to ask her if she knew when breakfast was, when suddenly there was a big noise!

And then there was a bigger noise and Katie got real real mad, and I didn't know what to do because when Katie gets mad sometimes things get bad for me so I ran away and I don't know what happened next but all I know is that it wasn't food that was happening.

No sir, it was definitely not food. Maybe Katie was really hungry and she was mad because Cleo didn't ask the mamas for food.

Monday, September 10, 2007

Kitty In The Oven

Sorry, everyone. Sophie kind of took over. She does that. She just waltzes in and expects everyone to pay attention to her. Like she thinks she's cute or something. WhatEVER. Those fluffy cats do that every time. Like they're royalty or something.

I have a friend who is NOTHING like that at all. She's really cute. I love her so much. She has really short black and white fur. And pretty green eyes. And she doesn't say much, except she always seems to try to talk right WHEN I'M TALKING!! Do you know anyone like that? Geez.

Anyway, she's always right where I left here, right here in the oven:

Isn't she cute? You see what I mean? I love her. I come to visit her a lot. I sit, and we talk. Sometimes I hear the mamas laughing but I don't know why. What's wrong with my friend? She's just a little kitty. Just like me. I bet she's hungry, too.

Foreign Correspondents

Hello, Internets! It's Sophie, Tiger Lily's... um... cousin?

Anyway. These family tree things confuse me. I don't care. I'm too busy being incredibly adorable. I'm also flexible. Look, I can almost touch my toe!

Whew. It's a lot of work being a cat over here at the coast. Besides. There's a lot of shady characters around here. My neighbors are definitely suspicious.

That's all they do, all day long. Sit there on top of that car and stare. What are you staring at, crazy neighbor kittens?? What??

Monday, September 3, 2007

Laundry Day

What? Oh. I was sleeping. You see, it's laundry day here.

It's my job to test the temperature of the laundry when it comes up from the dryer. Here's how it works. The mama brings it up, and dumps it out on the sofa. I come running from wherever I am and leap into the laundry, immediately testing the temperature with my paws. Sometimes (usually) I have to snuggle down into it, you know, just to really get a sense of how warm it is.

This batch is juuuuust right. Now, what was I doing? Oh right. Back to it!

Sunday, August 26, 2007

My Weekend, By Tiger Lily

Hi everyone-

It's me again. Tiger Lily. Did you miss me? I've been so busy, I just haven't had time to post. You would not believe how lazy these other cats are that I live with. Oh my gosh. Would you check it out?

Tiger and Kitten tried to get Cleo to get up off the paper this morning. But Cleo would have none of it. She said she was really tired.

So they covered her up with a blankie and let her sleep the rest of the day.

Katie was busy being a show-off, as usual. She was so proud of her pedicure and her pink toes. I tried to get her to stop but she yelled at me and I almost fell off the bed because she really scared me!

They just slept all day. Just like this. This is what they did all day!!

I had lots to do. I had to remind the mamas about breakfast, lunch, and dinner. And snacks. I had to wrestle with that big string that keeps following me around. I had to bat at Mama's ankle. A lot. I finally got to rest on one of the mama's laps. Finally!! But then she got up. Again. Sigh.

It's really hard to be me sometimes, you know?

Tiger Lily

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Sooooo Tiny

My mom says I need to go on a diet.

First, what's a diet?

Second, do you see how tiny my legs and feet are? Soooooo tiny. What is this 'chubby' they keep mentioning? That round little pouch there is just my fluffy fur. It's just fluff!! Everyone likes fluff. Especially marshmallow fluff. Mmm. Marshmallows.

Katie saw me showing the mamas my cute toes, so she had to show off and do her double-crossed move. Show off. I don't see any tummy fluff on HER.

Anyway. When's dinner?

Sunday, June 24, 2007

Dear Mama

Dear Mama:

Yesterday when I told you over and over and over and over that I needed food, I did not mean canned food. The fact that the canned food you placed in front of me did not even register, shoudl have told you something was up.

Do you think canned food helps me maintain this gorgeous belly? No. It's all dry food, mama.

Sometimes I think you just don't hear me.

Tiger Lily

Tuesday, June 12, 2007



Me again. Just reminding you that it's almost time for dinner. In fact, it IS time for dinner.

C'mon, let's go.

And don't you dare call me Lassie.

Sunday, June 10, 2007

A Living Cliche

I had such a big day today.
  • While Cleo woke up the mommies, I slept on the couch.
  • I inhaled my breakfast.
  • Three hours later, I cried piteously and incessantly for more food.
  • Mommies are mean.
  • I fell asleep on the couch.
  • For six hours.
  • Nothing on TV.
  • More sleeping.

Who says cats don't do anything but sleep all day? What? I ate.

Wednesday, June 6, 2007

Paw Of Death

So the mama who does not feed me? The one who is home all the time? Tonight I did some TALKING. About who is BOSS around here. She was washing dishes, and I sneaked up and and and and I swatted her ANKLE.

And then I fell down, and I forgot all about it.


Hi, I'm Tiger Lily.

I'm a black-and-white kitty who lives in a nice apartment in Alameda, California.

What I like to do, is eat.
My moms never give me enough food. I yell, I cry, I beg.

There is never enough food.

This is the story of my life.